Bird Porn is the end of, errr, whatever...

Penguin Porn - image from wikimedia

Heck yeah, this country has a moral problem. NO, I am not talking about the "9/11" inside job, the oil mafia that runs the government, the prudish christian bigot bodyhaters, the rotten financial system, the wars that turn body bags to profit, certain corrupt politicians who can sometimes see Russia, or anything else that would normally come to mind.

No, the end to western moral and freedom and everything is:

BIRD WATCHING.

Yes.

Bird. Watching.

Bad, baad thing.

But now there is a website to end this perverted "sport" and to hinder the moral decline of our society:

Our mission

According to the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service forty eight million people watch birds. We have discovered that certain demographics of Bird Watchers are more sexually active than others.The elderly find that bird watching is not strenuous. And this erotic experience can be enjoyed privately through binoculars. Most disturbing are the groups of bird watchers seeking vicarious sexual gratification in the woods.

A psychologist who studies bird watching says: “Adults, disguised as bird watchers mask their debauchery by taking trips in groups. They can then achieve climax in the safety of the woods. Particularly disturbing is the high number of senior citizens using binoculars and telescopes to observe birds mating.

“These horny Peeping Toms satisfy their craving for sex by focusing their debasement on birds. This perversion must be halted, otherwise the entire moral fibre of our nation is going to hell.”.

A former birdwatcher, who recently resigned from his club in Meritt Island, FL, said: “I am sad about the reprehensible behavior of these bird watchers who need to satisfy their pornographic pleasures. Shame on them!”.

A member of Congress, who requested anonymity, is quietly drafting legislature that would levy stiff fines against people caught with bird porn in their possession, either photos or internet images.

For further information on how you can help discourage senior citizens from bird watching and, instead, to channel their energies into socially accepted activities, please email us at info@stopbirdporn.org or call us at (212) 592 3677.

P.S. For those who think it’s a joke or a hoax, we have to disappoint you - the problem is real and there is absolutely nothing funny about birds being abused.

No, that's no joke. This is from http://www.stopbirdporn.org
Good you guys are at it. Seriously.

"Socially accepted activities". Sure. Like what?

Ah, understand. Lets mate in the woods instead of watching birds do it...